Ohne dich ist alles doof!

~So was I once myself a swinger of birches~
January 3, 2010, 3:47 pm
Filed under: hamburg | Tags: , , , ,

Birches~Robert Frost


Procrastination  may very well be my favorite activity. In between actually getting work done today, I have 1) Read the new york times; 2) caught up on sociological images; 3) contemplated calling my family (too early in the morning); 4) investigated the adventures of one dr. mcninja. All in all, I have had a very enjoyable day. I also managed to study a bit of chem and krystallographie, in between my procrastinary awesomeness.

Happy New Year!

The only new year song that comes to mind (other than old lang syne) always strikes me as incredibly sad, at first, at least, until i hit the let’s go dancing chorus (so everybody put your best suit or dress on and we’ll pretend that something has just begun) so basically that’s the part that i dance to, and the rest, i don’t know, just relate to i suppose. don’t feel any different? check. resolutionless? check. Oh good. i could star in a death cab for cutie song.

Also. Because this is the song that i think of, i feel incredibly uncreative. Where are my stores of new years songs, readily available should i wish to call them to mind? hmm. Obviously, I have been doing too much studying and not enough musicing.

That said, I am just a little bit proud of the amount of work i’ve managed to get done, what with it being break, and dad visiting. I only managed a bit while he was here, but since he flew back home, i’ve managed two powerpoint presentations (one in german), half of the sorrows of young werther, and! the afore mentioned chem and krystallographie learnage. In between this productivity (as i’m sure my opening communicated) i’ve managed to have quite a bit of fun. New year’s was a smash (no flame to the 24 hour party of a few years ago–senior year?–which included a dance party, truth or dare jenga, a late night walk, toast-ing, a view of the sunrise, early morning coffee, a cuddle pile of sleepage, and long winters on the ride to the zoo station), finally saw frost/nixon. so much to say about that, or perhaps, so little. i bet i’d have more to say if we discussed it (my initial response was entirely composition based–let’s talk!)

New Year’s this year consisted of a party at a friend’s. We ate, discussed randomosity (this guy i met through the daad has a tendancy to bring up topics i know little about, but as of yet, it hasn’t been as much in an oh let me learn way so much as a gee i feel uninformed/incapable of engaging in conversation way. part of this has been because the last two times we met up, he had a friend there, who did know a lot about city planning. city planning i don’t feel bad about not knowing, but certain world events i should be better caught up on. if i were to make a resolution, it would be to stay caught up. but instead of resolving to do it, i’ll just put it into action). Then! We set off some fireworks. Now, normally, it would be enough to leave that statement at “we set off some fireworks,” but as this is germany, and they were not just any ‘fireworks’ it requires some clarification.

Here storebought fireworks are just a step short of professional fireworks in the us. They go up 2-3 stories, and explode the night away. Some only once, but they also have these boxes that perform an entire firework show, finale and all. We almost got hit with a few ground suckers on our way to Landungsbrücke, where the real party was. Landungsbrücke is a pedestrian bridge on the Elbe, hamburg’s trade center. Thousands of people were there, setting off fireworks before and after the new year. At midnight the boats in the harbor tooted their horns and set off fireworks, but the view down the bridge was much more impressive. I might have seen a kilometer of continuous fireworks. We left before it quieted down. Unfortunately, we also saw a ton of ambulances. What happens when fireworks are set off in a group of people. Oh. And when a shit ton of alcohol is involved. On the shore of a giant tidal river. But still! I didn’t see anybody carried off, only ambulances in transit, and some simply awaiting catastrophe. hopefully all injuries were minor.

So this is the New Year. In some ways I do feel different, but not in the oh look let’s turn a page on our calendar and look woah suddenly we’re counting differently and the world is new again ( Where there was something and suddenly isn’t,/ an absence shouts, celebrates, leaves a space./ I begin again with the smallest numbers.–Naomi Shihab Nye)! More in an “i’ve realized in which ways my time here has been dissatisfying, and have determined what I am going to do to improve upon it.” Most of that i decided months ago, and have been slowly (and successfully!) putting into action. Other things I’ve only decided over the break, such as, there really isn’t much point in going out of my way to socialize with my floor. Yes, i should spend time in common spaces, but most of them, i don’t actually want to be friends with. Some of them, perhaps, but the ones I’m interested in befriending are also the ones who have been more receptive of my oh hello let’s talk advances. So I just need to remind myself that shyness is never the answer, and to invite them to do things, trusting in my ability to successfully engage in conversation with an almost stranger. All systems go.

I’ve been missing my lives in smith and portland, and am reining myself in, refusing to rush towards homegoing. I am not here to go home.

Forever – is composed of Nows – (690)

by Emily Dickinson

Forever – is composed of Nows –
‘Tis not a different time –
Except for Infiniteness –
And Latitude of Home –
From this – experienced Here –
Remove the Dates – to These –
Let Months dissolve in further Months –
And Years – exhale in Years –
Without Debate – or Pause –
Or Celebrated Days –
No different Our Years would be
From Anno Dominies –
Frohes Neues!